The Matrimony Mirror

I believe that quiet time with the Lord is the most overlooked and underrated aspect of Christian life in this age. Most of us young adults have become accustomed to noise; and some sort of rattling almost must happen in order for us to function, sadly even in our walk with God. And while the devotion apps on the mobile phone, the powerful discussions on your favorite Gospel radio show, and your senior pastors' CDs of the latest sermon are all great tools; none of that beats the 5 or 6 in the mornings with an open Bible and not another sound.  Even better is the scripture you've reviewed in your head while you sit in silence.  God told Joshua that meditation on His Law was key to Joshua and the Israelites acquiring Canaan from the stronger tribes that lived there (Joshua 1:8).  We must be sure within ourselves that this was not just what God had for Moses' successor, but it is vital for completing our assignments given by God through Jesus.  One reason I have found why this is important is because during quiet time, the Holy Spirit can tell you some things that one, give you practical insight into the Word; and two, provide you with age old knowledge when you only have 2 months of experience.  For this piece here, my example deals with marriage.


With me being an only child and handling things mostly on my own once I got into adulthood, and with Melicer being the eldest child in the home she was raised in and very independent, issues that revolve around teamwork and leadership sometimes arise.  Nothing new in during the infancy of marriage, but my frustrations stem from none of this happening when we were dating and me clinging on to more worldly traditional roles concerning being a husband.  I took these frustrations with me to my quiet time with the Lord early one morning.  In the dark guest room of our home I sat on the edge of the bed hearing only the birds for about 30 minutes when the Holy Spirit said to me, "go back upstairs to your wife and serve her until she leaves for work."  Clearly God's Spirit was speaking because my prayers to Him for the past couple days was for Him to help her understand her role.  So I got up, and did just what He commanded; with a lot of my actions being things that I have never done for my loving wife.  After I watched her walk out the door and into her car, I spun around to view a quiet and clean home.  With that appropriate backdrop, the Holy Spirit spoke again: "husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church."

I read Ephesians a few times in the distant past, and even more during pre-marital counseling, so I was familiar.  But after the Spirit's soft voice I began to process some things.  The most common theme is that Jesus suffered and died for the church; but the other part of that is looking at the type church that Jesus was loving.  Who were they?  How did they think, talk, and act?  Are we that church?  What did they do to Jesus? 

Keep in mind, Paul wrote those letters (Romans, 1 & 2 Corinthians, Ephesians to name a few) for detailed purposes.  Some of those purposes were because the church was embracing all types of sin within their bodies.  Please note that it was the church that was practicing sexual immorality and deceit.  It was also the church that was neglecting the poor and taking one another to worldly courts to try to get paid.  And it doesn't stop there.  It was the church that sanctioned the murder of millions of non-Christians during the Crusades (1095 - 1291).  It was the church that allowed the operation of the deadly African slave trade and masked it with the label of evangelism.  And the drama continues to this very minute.  Yet in all of these horrible atrocities that the Son of God knew were taking place and were going to take place, He didn't turn away from us.  Although He told His disciples that events like this would indeed happen, He didn't say, "because the large majority of you will never get it right, I'm not risking my life for you heathens."  Nope, instead, He healed people.  He continued to teach and show love for others.  And most of all, He fulfilled his duty and stood in our place when we are supposed to received God's wrath. 

So then, the love that Jesus had and has towards a wild church that was supposed to be following Him is the same love I should display for my wife.  Regardless of her present understanding and expression of that understanding, I am still required to love her as Christ loved a church full of misunderstandings.  When my wife gets verbally out of line, I rebuke that rebellion in love.  When she doesn't follow through with what I ask, help her to grasp the purpose in love and work with her.  When she is frustrated about work, comfort her in love.  Be forever supportive, confiding, life-speaking, honest, and pointing to the awesomeness of God and His wonderful plan for our union.  The success of my business (or lack thereof) shouldn't come between my relationship with my wife or even influence how I treat her.  My personal aspirations should by no means be primary and my marriage secondary.  Why, because Jesus made the church and our [earthly and eternal] well-being His main focus; and so shall I with my wife.  If Jesus' love was shown through a myriad of dire situations, then my love for my wife should also reflect that same adoration regardless of the level of pressure.  This is a joy-sustaining principle for life.

A major indicator of a husbands relationship with God is the relationship he has with his wife.

Peace