Along with this I realize the "skills" or thinking I've acquired was only meant to survive in the lifestyle I was in...nothing more. And the only reason that stuff isn't useless is because it helps me help others. But I believe that in most instances "I didn't have to go through that" is a better testimony than "I survived". An example of this better testimony could be the news of Brelyn Bowman, daughter of Dr. Mike Freeman of Spirit of Faith Christian Center, presenting her father with the medical results showing that she was a virgin up to her wedding day. Much of America...and surprisingly Christian America...didn't see it as a cause for congratulations, however.
Instead it was a cause for jokes, disbelief, and the intelligent yet underachieving social media troll to express their opinions and insecurity. Yes, insecurity. You would think in a never-would've-made-it culture that elates over success stories that this would be at the top of the list. But because the American Christian population is filled with sexual failures such as teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, fornication, homosexuality, adulteries, and others; and because they choose to be defined by these failures, many didn't celebrate her doing something right, they hated her because they didn't do it. All of these "young, fly, and saved" people couldn't add "virgin" to their t-shirt...and they're flat out jealous.
That self-condemnation is sneaky. It doesn't appear until someone achieves what you've wished, or never even thought was possible. It won't allow a person to find happiness in someone else doing something as simple is proving that they kept their word. It drives us to find underhanded reasons that someone reached their goal, conquered their doubts, and obtained new understanding. It makes people haters. It denies honesty.
I believe this is what many, if not all, who criticize the 20+ year act and ceremony of Brelyn are experiencing. Unfiltered insecurity. They took that purity pledge in middle school and had sex in the 10th grade. They slept with their boyfriend or girlfriend with full confidence they were "the one" and are now on their 13th "one". And these actions alone aren't making them insecure, but it's the memory of the shame and disappointment they assumed themselves . Mrs. Bowman's achievement made them feel....less. And they, saved by grace from Christ, have denied the ever-present power of redemption from loss and remission from sin.
I think this is what living in thanksgiving (Ephesians 5:20) is to help us with. Instead of even considering our failures and mistakes we are to celebrate God's deliverance from them. See, the reality is that Mrs. Bowman messed up too...big time...in something...because she, like us, is human. We miss the mark, sometimes daily. And if that makes you feel better then that says more about you than her. But what's comforting (or at least should be) is the fact that before we were even born God provided the solution for our failure. Essentially, we were winners before we even started playing the game. Knowing that, there is no justifiable reason to direct any negativity her direction. And to blast her for winning at something is completely contradictory when we want people to celebrate us cutting our hair off, or getting a money bonus, or any other accomplishment that the non-Christian population can agree with. It's not only cruel to her, it's insulting to yourself.
Learn to appreciate other peoples' victory, not just your own.
Peace
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