I believe that tongue-holding should be considered a martial art, as the ability to refrain from projecting aggressive and destructive verbiage while responding to an attacker is surely a form of defense. But similar to how blocking kicks and punches only reduce (not eliminate) the pain by protecting the face or abdomen, holding or taming the tongue prevents your emotions from being utterly battered, while still some pain is felt. The one who learns how to shelve those temporary bruises on the way to victory is indeed victorious. Meanwhile many are so consumed with the sting of blocking onslaughts that they eventually cave in. Never did I understand this until a few years ago, when I began understanding the Word of God to the point where I could actually help someone else with the principles it contained. I immediately left myself wide open to all types of criticism where very few people passed on the chance to heckle. Regardless of the association or relationship between me and the other party, many friends and foes formed their makeshift media circles to record my movements in hope a juicy story would develop. And of all the cliches' that exist, 'everybody is human' is the most inaccurate--because it does not apply to the vocal male Believer. See, we can't judge; but everyone else can.
You should know that the last statement was sarcastic in nature, but with any joke there is some truth that lies in it. The truth here is that while many Christians plainly know the theme in Matthew 17:1 (do not judge or you also will be judged, NIV), it seems to go unoticed that this faith law is a self-monitoring statment as opposed to a tool used to block away wise advice. Take this point as some thought: each time I read a Facebook subscriber post something I consider ignorant, in my head develops one of these two thoughts--how dumb or how sad. But still, even though I may have an angle of insight that the next person should but does not have, I have to be cautious of how to say something or whether I should say anything at all; lest I am judged. And individuals who are in my position, who have a decent knowledge of the many spiritual matters involved in a Christian life, must be more than careful of not falling into the pit of being an accuser. Along with this, we need to be sure we know that judging is not condusive of Christian interaction; but correction is--and there is a fool proof way it should be done.
I think it's best we get an agreement on a certain concept first. There is no person on this planet that is above correction from another human being; and this doesn't mean that human has to be your parent, pastor, elder, or anyone else you perceive to be on a level above you. I'm not quite sure how we got to where we think God only can provoke change in us when the Bible gives loads of examples on how the Almighty used all types of people to change other people's ways, directions, and thought patterns. I tend to think this has to do with a spirit of insecurity that has overtaken millions. Moving forward...
Galatians 6:1 mentions to us that if "someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you may also be tempted." The discarded prinicple of correction is clearly indicated here; and Spirit-walking Christians have a lane to do as such. But it additionally says that these persons, as being led by the Spirit mind you, definitley should correct someone who trespassess in a gentle manner. Unfortunately, many people (going back to that insecurity thing again) see this gentle restoration as judgement. So when the spiritual cat tries to help that type of person out with kindness and consideration, he or she is usually replied on with disgust, anger, and the famous "this is me and God knows my heart" or the "only God can judge me" line. Mane, imgaine if King David would have reacted to Nathan like that (check 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12). Anyway, the key component here is that the emotion towards the offense should be replace by empathy for the offender. Which points to the next and arguably the most important part.
No form of ministry, evangelism, or missionary work is properly executed without love--and this includes even if we decide to "restore that person gently." Our intentions towards the help of that individual may seem right to us, but if we don't place love at the forfront, then our aim is misguided. A drive to correct someone who has or is moving towards grave sin can be halted if the focus is not love for him/her as one of God's very own loved creations. I believe that the offense is always the subtopic of the help that the helper is trying to give; but showing love is the main topic, otherwise our words towards person in need sounds like a "clanging cymbol (1 Corinthians 13:1)"; and whatever we say means nothing.
Being judgmental has no place in the Kingdom of God, but loving correction does. Therefore, if you have an issue assisting the "needy" in love; or if you find yourself uncoachable. It could mean there is some space in you that the Spirit of the Lord needs to be allowed to fill--which is a whole 'nother topic.
Peace
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