Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Name Nonsense

This is dedicated to the Marquisha's, the Tyshella's, the N'daequan's, the LaMaquis's and the Ronshaneke's (pronounced Ra-sha-neek).  I know America has put you in the dregs of society because your mothers decided to get 'creative' during the nine months they carried you.  And because of their artistic expression by means of your first (and sometimes middle) name you are discriminated by your teachers before they even meet you, your job applications and resumes are laughed at and then thrown away, and you are labeled 'ghetto'.  What's even more disheartening is that most of these actions and reactions are coming from your own African American brothers and sisters; mothers and fathers.  So because of the continued drama, this one is for you.

You are truly disadvantaged because you are the shame of a [every so often] proud culture.  I mean, when they call TaShawn during roll call in class the general theme is his mom shouldn't have done that to that boy, she set him up to fail!  And in the 21st century it's so critical to make sure a black child has a respectable and understandable name - for example, who would ever employ or give a college scholarship to a kid named Barak?  Wait a minute, a guy named Barak got elected president of the U.S.A.  On second thought he was Nigerian so he gets a pass.  Or was it Hawaiian Indian?  Either way, who would do such a thing?  How can you make it with that type of name? 

Sure an Asian named Xingu (try to pronounce it) can come to America and do alright.  I don't think people will disrespect his or her name because it may have originated from the riches of Japanese culture.  And unfortunately for you, you have no culture outside of what America chooses to give you.  Your original culture was stolen from you during the African Holocaust so it's probably better if you stick with a Bill or Amy if you chose to have children.  After all, it worked for Kunta Kenta and all he lost was a foot.  This way, you won't have to work as hard to get a job or get in college because your name is less black and ghetto.  Wait another minute, the term ghetto was created to refer to the neighborhoods where Jews were forced to live in before the Jewish Holocaust.  So shouldn't a ghetto name be David or Joshua or Deborah or Sarah?  Well, that's different, too.

See, what you don't understand is it's acceptable to be as Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, German, or Spanish as you can be.  But try not to be too black because it's just too threatening for America.  Sure Germany lead the cause for world domination twice.  And sure the Chinese still practice the ever anti-American communism.  Never mind that, just remember that as long as you have been allowed to have an opinion in this country your opinion only matters to you.  There is no opportunity for you to create your own businesses and schools so you might as well assimilate with America's ways.  And if black people won't deal with you because your name is Darquella then your back is really against the wall.  Obviously they are smarter, better looking, and more technically astute (but not more athletic) than you because their name is William; and their parents were thinking ahead - you know, playing the game.

But check this out.  Next time a Daniel, wait one more minute, that's also Jewish so let's say Thomas says 'what type of name is Natasha'?  Wait again, that's Russian so let's say Quanisha.  Ok, so next time a Thomas says 'what type of name is Quanisha'?  You can ask him to please embrace all things about African American society that makes us unique and don't discriminate because of a name.  Or maybe remind him that they love to dance to hip hop or relax to jazz, to forms of music that are based from impoverished, urban African American culture.  Or remind him that a family that loves and nurtures their child can be as successful as anyone, no matter how different or ethnic their name is.  He may fire back at you that 'ghetto' names make things harder for black people.  And he may be right because certainly intra-racial issues don't cause any problems.  Besides, who would ever want the President of the United States to work hard?

Peace.

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