I literally used to do anything I wanted. Check that....75% of the time I did anything I wanted when I had to force it; and 97% of the time it was when there were wide open opportunities. Needless to say I had loads of what I considered to be fun, but unfortunately none of it was pleasing in the sight of God. Although it was diametrically opposed to any form of obedience to Him, I leaned on a couple of biblical principles-turned-excuses to clear my conscious. The "all have sinned and fall short (Romans 3:23)" worked pretty well. And the King David saga mixed with the type of teaching I was under really allowed me to make my dirt look clean. Even though I knew I was wrong, I was fairly good at manipulating myself by using the previously introduced verse; all the while behaving as ignorant as possible. That being said, I look back on those days in embarrassment; thinking I was hot stuff but was really missing the freedom a life with Christ gives. But here's where the ultimate give-and-take scenario comes to play. Because of course this better knowledge of myself and my purpose has me grateful without question. It's just that it would've been pretty cool if this renewed mind came with amnesia.
Which is why I believe some of the ol' heads lied when they used to sing "I looked at my hands and they looked new, I looked at my feet and they did too." Or maybe I got a different Jesus because my hands and feet look the same. On top of that, the memories of what my same-looking hands and feet did aren't all bad. Maybe inappropriate or ungodly, but not bad. Some of them are actually funny, some are exciting, and a few more are...well...memorable. So much so that they encompass a great part of my daily war between the brain and the skin. See, when you go to the back, it slips their mind to tell you that the rush of being a new creature in Christ goes away (sometimes within a couple hours), and there are definitely growing pains. And the pains don't leave by the way, they just evolve. But you know...the first mile is always the hardest.
Be glad anyway if this is where you are; some people didn't even make it to this level. Even the Bible talks about a young baller who really wanted to follow Jesus, but changed his mind when Jesus told him to sell all his possessions and give the money away (Matthew 19:17-22). It appears that he was unwilling to change the lifestyle he was accustomed to in order to walk with Christ. And that's most people whether rich or poor...but not you. Nope, you made the conscious decision to take the narrow road that most of your friends and family won't even notice (Matthew 7:14). But that doesn't mean you forgot a thing. However, you certainly don't have to repeat what you remember.
The apostle Paul says that he has to beat back the things that used to satisfy him every single day (1 Corinthians 9:27). He uses a violent depiction to describe how difficult it is to ensure he's separated from his fleshy, sinful desires. What I find significant is that Paul understood he wasn't enduring such tasks so he could brag about being a good Christian brother. No, he did this because it was a requirement that came with his calling; and that others depended on his victories so they could picute what a winner looked like. I think I've eluded to this before, but the only piece about Christianity that is self-centered is salvation. Everything else strongly rests on the principles of helping someone else. So when you began to [again] struggle with whether or not to dial it back a bit or return to the good ol' days altogether; remember your brother, sister, parent, friend, co-worker, or neighborhood bystander is cheering for you to make it...so they can do the same. Because the dude that cheats to get his millions gets his reward here, and it'll be left here when he dies. But the reward you get for being an example of a Christlike individual is worth more than any dollar amount; plus it lasts forever.
The race ain't for the speedy, but the one who can keep runnin'. 'Cause that's who the fans wanna see.
Peace
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